Lost in Oblivion
by KaydenceRei
Summary: She's back. She worked that case with Elliot. But Elliot now knows that she had asked their captain not to tell him. When he confronts her, how will she explain herself? Or will she simply get lost in the depths of oblivion.


**Disclaimer**: I wish. God how I wish.

**Author's Note**: I know what you're all thinking. 'Jesus Kay! Update your two stories, don't write one-shots!'

Well most of this was written in a notebook while I was in class. So it only required minimal thinking to copy it onto the computer. :P I swear. I'm working on my stories next though. So never fear. I just have to go to work first.

**Lost in Oblivion**:

Olivia sat on the edge of her window sill as she stared out into an oblivion of thoughts with her head against the glass of the window. She wasn't used to thinking about such quizzical things as she happened to be at the moment. Though. Maybe that was just because she'd never had the time to do so before now.

It used to be that her biggest worry in life was whether or not there would be a new victim when she got up and went into work in the morning. Her biggest worries included work, and work only. Suddenly her personal life had been thrown for a loop. She found her biggest worry was whether or not she still held a place in the heart of a certain man. A certain SVU detective. A certain partner, her partner. Her Elliot Stabler..

She remembered so clearly. The feelings that she'd had when she seen Elliot through the window of her captain's office. His hand seemed to be resting comfortably on his 'new partner's' back. New partner... It made her uncomfortable to say the least. Even when she thought about it. Dani Beck had moved right in when she left and Elliot had pulled her right inside of his comfort zone and pushed Olivia out. Then again.. maybe she'd just been pushed out before that. After the Gitano case, that was when she'd been pushed out. Now she felt something else. Something she wasn't used to.

Guilt? Maybe some. But that definitely wasn't the main thing she was feeling. Regret was something she felt daily, so that wasn't it. But jealousy seemed to hit the spot perfectly. She'd become jealous over the affection Elliot had showed his new partner in just a moment's notice. It was just plain embarrassing for her to admit she was jealous of another woman.

A sigh escaped her lips. It left a slight gray fog on the window where she had let the short breath come out. There was so much that she felt about the relationship that she and Elliot had once shared. It disturbed her that she'd never thought much about it before, simply because in the past, Elliot had always been right there by her side as her partner, and as her best friend. Maybe that was just life. Where you don't realize what it is that you have until it gets taken away from you.

Her mocha eyes caught a glimpse of somebody moving in towards her building. She hadn't thought too much of it until the buzzer of her apartment went off. Her eyes then glanced a look over at her door as she debated over buzzing the mystery person up.

She decided against the idea and her eyes went back to staring into an unnatural oblivion.

A few moments later there was a knock on her locked door. It caused her to glance over in surprise. She stared in a slight stupor before she got the feeling that she knew who it was going to be.

"Olivia," came Elliot's voice from the other side of her door. "Come on. You know can't ignore me forever."

Olivia sighed to herself. She knew that Elliot was right. But that didn't cause her to immediately get up to open the door for him. Instead she did the opposite. She remained silent in her spot by the window.

Elliot closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the closed door. "I'm as stubborn as you are Olivia," he told her. "You know as well as I do that I'm not going to leave."

Olivia stood up from her place by the window and made her way to the door. She unhooked the security chain and opened the door before walking to her couch and taking a seat on it.

"Olivia?" he asked as he watched her open the door and then simply walk back to her couch without a word to him.

Olivia glance in Elliot's direction. Ge was still standing outside of the apartment. He was acting as though entering her apartment would be some kind of trespass onto holy grounds.

"You don't have to stand out there all night," she told him quietly. "I did open the door for you."

Elliot nodded slightly in response and moved into her apartment before closing the door behind him. He took a seat beside Olivia on her couch, leaving a larger space between the two of them then he used to.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you were back?" he asked after they had been sitting in silence for a few more moments then he could stand to bear.

"I was going to..." she started to say. But Elliot was click to interrupt what she had to say.

He just shook his head. "You say but," he said to her. "You even went so far as to tell the captain not to tell me that you were back. Or even that you had come to the precinct."

Olivia clamped her mouth shut instead of retaliating like she would have done in the past. She was tired of butting heads with him.

"At least tell me why Olivia," Elliot said to her.

A confused look was set into his icy eyes. He wanted to know why she didn't want to see him this whole time that she had been back. Dani had told him that a woman came in and asked for him while he had been in interrogation. She'd never left her name with Dani. But she did go in to see the captain instead.

Olivia was silent for a moment as she thought of a response for him and the question that he had asked her. Admitting jealousy to him was even harder then admitting it to herself. And that was something she really was not up for doing.

"I don't know why, Elliot," she said simply to him after her moment of silence.

Elliot clearly wasn't going to accept that as an answer though. He wanted something more then that. No. He deserved something more then that from her.

"I think I at least deserve some truth here, Olivia," he said. "I just want to understand why you didn't tell me.'

"But you won't understand."

Elliot looked confused. "Why wouldn't I understand?" he asked.

Olivia sighed again. "Because you're never willing to listen! You only hear the things that you want to hear, Elliot."

Elliot groaned. "Then make me understand!"

Olivia simply stared at him. If he wanted the truth so badly then that was what she was going to give him.

"Because it wouldn't have mattered if I had come and told you that I was back or not," she finally stated quietly in response to the question asked earlier.

Elliot didn't quiet understand Olivia's answer. He didn't understand much about the way she was acting period though now that he was thinking about it. It wasn't like her to be so quiet and not fight him back on a matter.

"Olivia," he finally said. "What do you mean by it wouldn't matter?" he asked finally.

"Because you wouldn't have cared even if I'd bothered taking the time to tell you that I was back," she explained. "Or at least I didn't think that you would care."

Elliot stared at her in shock. What would have possibly caused Olivia to think that he wouldn't have cared that she was back? Something inside was truly bothering her, and he couldn't help but think he was the cause of it. She never acted like this.

"Olivia.."

Olivia was silent as she stared at the floor. How could she have been so stupid as to have actually said that to him? Things were never meant to be like this between them. There was never supposed to be a 'them' to worry about besides a simple partnership. Now there wasn't even a partnership. But for some reason there was still a 'them' somewhere.

Elliot wasn't sure what to do or say in response. Normally he may have put a hand on her shoulder. But that was out of their comfort zone now. They'd lost all the companionship they'd once found inside of each other. And that left him at a loss for what he could do for her.

"You should probably go now, Elliot."

Elliot's eyes stared at Olivia now. He didn't budge.

Olivia was staring at her feet. After a moment without Elliot getting up she finally let her eyes glance over and meet his. That was her mistake. It would probably be the cause of both their downfalls.

Elliot finally moved closer to Olivia on the couch so that he was directly beside her.

"Explain to me one thing Olivia," he told her. "Why do you think I wouldn't care that you came back?"

Olivia made a move to break the eye contact almost instantly after the question. But Elliot's hand was quick to be placed on the side of her face and bring her eyes back into contact. Instead of answering though, she brought her hand up behind his head and pulled his face closer to hers as she met his lips with hers. The shock for Elliot was clear as his eyes widened. After another moment she let him go and pulled away.

"Now tell me what you felt," Olivia stated simply. Her voice was hushed as she waited for his answer.

Surprise was still evident on Elliot's face. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know how to explain what he felt from the kiss. It definitely wasn't anything that he had ever felt before in his life.

A somber smile graced Olivia's lips at that moment. She turned away from him and leaned back against the back of the couch as she closed her eyes to think.

"Nothing," Olivia stated quietly. "You felt nothing."

Elliot was confused. She'd taken his silence the wrong way. He definitely felt something in the kiss.

"And did you feel nothing?" he asked after a moment.

Olivia remained with her eyes shut tight. She thought of her reply. Maybe she should just say she felt nothing too. But it would be too obvious to him that she'd be lying. She'd just be better off telling him the truth.

"I felt.." she started. "I felt.." she tried again. She didn't know how to explain it. "I'm not sure what it is I felt.."

Elliot watched as her eyes remained closed. She was trying to work it all out in her head. She was trying to solve a problem that she wasn't aware they were both having. Finally he leaned over and placed his lips against hers. Maybe that would make her understand.

Olivia's eyes didn't open. Instead she placed her hand behind Elliot's head and returned the kiss. Soon they broke apart again.

"Still think that it was nothing I felt?" he asked her.

Olivia opened her eyes after a moment and stared at him.

"No.." she told him simply.

Elliot smiled. "And do you still think that I don't care you came back?"

Olivia smiled too. "No.."

Elliot grinned. He couldn't help his next question.

"Then do I still get your kidney, or can I have your heart instead?"

The shock on Olivia's face was evident at what he asked. Quickly though, she managed to shake it off.

"You get both.. just as long as I get your heart too."

Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia in a tight embrace.

"Welcome back Liv, I missed you."

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

**Good? Bad? Moderate? Oh well. I tried. **

**-Kay**


End file.
